I was recently checking this infamous wizard-voodoo witch-craft thingy-majing so called website Twitter, well two months ago my friend was trying to explain to me what it does and things like that, but I’ve only been recently checking it after I found out a friend was on it.

And I’ve come to the conclusion that Twitter is a vile disgusting utensil of a website.

How arrogant do you have to be, to actually think that people care about what you do every single second of the day, or what your thoughts are in this particular hour?

 It seems like all the new technologies people are inventing makes it only easier for some one to stalk you and follow you into dark alleys and stab you. Actually a literal term that belongs to Twitter is “Followers” (i.e number of people who stalk/follow your page).

What they basically did was take the “status feature” from Facebook and incorporate it into an entire webpage. And by the way the status feature is probably the most annoying Facebook feature EVER!!

I used to hate it, when I had my Facebook I would update my status and write weird things, to only later realize that I’ve become one of those annoying status updaters.

I HAVE BECOME THE VERY THING I DESPISED.

So I finally deactivated it (I come back every time I want to take my friend’s e-mails for correspondence purposes).

If I could only go back in time and meet the guy who thought “hey this is an interesting Facebook feature let’s make an entire website out of it” and block his thought > NO TWITTER DUDE NO!! YOU SICK BASTARD!!

P.S: Please don’t think im a playa’ hata’ discriminata’

Also this is probably the only Twitter page worth checking (read it with a funny British accent) its hilarious http://twitter.com/QueenLizII

Ok it's 3 am right now, and I wake up from my sleep because the stupid cats on the street are going mental. And no they weren't mating they were literally being POSSESD BY DEMONS... .
One of them jumped on my AC and then into my window and started fighting with the other street cat.. It was horrible..
I saw blood on MY WINDOW!! BLOOD!! I am going to have to clean dried up cat blood in the morning also maybe find me a dead or seriously injured street cat...

THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED...

And the noises I hear are so scary I hear hissing, and weird noises like RAWR but less rawr and more demonish, it sounds like when a train pulls into a station like REAAA mixed with the weird squeeky noise channels put when they close for the night you know with the rainbow colors and stuff... (why do the channles do that by the way??)

Anyway also all of this obviously startled my cat Tooti she started acting crazier than usual and mad howling and jumped on the top of th coat rack then ON THE EDGE OF THE DOOR and just stood there..

I stood on my squeeky DEATH chair, cause my brother used to have this computer chair but he switched mine with his after I went to Jordan and when you move a second it completly tilts over (also I have an enormous fear of heights) and I rescued her or whatever!! 

That damn street cat is sratching my window right now and hissing el 7ayawaneh...... I tried to tell it to go but it won't leave..

I can also hear the other cat dying, or screaming of pain.. I'll post a pic of the possibly dead cat tommorow.. With the blood on window stains.. (no jk I'm not THAT horrible)

Moral of the story kids is: Cat fights... not so funny.....
It wasn't funny 20 years ago, and it's not funny on re-runs and it's not funny in reality.. And the next person I hear say "oooh cat fight" is gonna get smacked..

What is up with the music people are making these days? I was just watching a Beyonce video on MTV and she was just dancing rambling some bullshit lyrics out of her mouth.

 “I walk like this
Cuz I can back it up
Its too big, Its too wide
Too strong, It wont fit
Its too much, Its too tough
He talks like this
Cuz he can back it up
He got a big ego
Such a huge ego
I love his big ego
Its too much
He walks like this
Cuz he can back it up

Ego so big
You must admit
I got every reason to feel like Im that bitch
Ego so strong, if you dont know
I dont need no beat, I can sing it with piano”

REALLY?! No seriously!!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING LADY?

I am so bored you can’t even imagine, I tried everything but I am still bored. I have been watching E! Channel all day and I hate watching celebs, why do I put myself through this kind of mental torture I don’t know. The thing is whenever I find something on TV that’s really gay to the point that makes you want to stab your eyes with a pencil so you can punish yourself for the horridness, I continue to watch even though it really pisses me off…  I continue to watch…. WHY oh WHY do I do this myself!!!

 Anyways I watched the Egyptian version of the movie “Pretty Woman” it’s called “EL Jeans” but the lady who was singing the intro made it sound like “el jins” subliminal messages anyone?

 It was a really bad imitation; first of all the girl isn’t even attractive and she had one of those old Egyptian belly dancer karsha’s if you watch oldies you’d know what I mean and she has that long up to her knees frizzy 80’s hairstyle even though the movie was made in the 90’s < but no worries that’s just how we Arabs roll we copy shit years behind and we advance at the pace of an extremely slow snail.

They copied the lines and everything, and they didn’t even strap on a pair and copy it right, the picture quality was bad (it had the weird faded white thing they do in Egyptian movies and series), and the acting was so bad, those dumbasses didn’t even COPY it right.
Seriously why don't the Egyptian media people just give up already, I say just throw in the towel it's a lost cause and it's obviously been proven they suck at the art of cinematography, so I say to arab directors/non-creative thinker screenwriter dudes/actress/actor/singers GIVE UP!! YOU ALREADY LOST YOUR DIGNITY AND YOU SUCK STOP TORTURING ME YOU SICK TWISTED BASTARDS... and Tamer Hosni fuck you < that goes to Zainab Al Askari too..
To prove they suck try watching an arabic movie at the pepsi sticky floor haunted cinema in mecca mall and you pay 6 JD's for 2 hours of complete discomfort and gayness. Freaking mind rape seriously.........

I also watched “Keeping up with the Kardashians” with my brother even thought I HATE REALITY SHOWS and I never knew who the hell Kim Kardashian was and apparently they are a Mexican version of the Hilton family except that the number of tramps are more. Anyways watching this show instantly drops your IQ by 20 points.

TV is so bad; I went from watching literally zero TV in Jordan to watching extremely gay things all the time in Saudi. My level of boredom has hit a new low.

I defiled my childhood sticker collection today I had a lot like Titanic, Suntop, Mickey Mouse,  Disney princesses and science stickers it’s pretty sick it’s like a live picture of a diseased lung and squirmy bloody heart and stuff (what were my parents thinking?).

I never used the stickers before. The only time I unwrapped a sticker was to trade them and we used to swap them like dark twisty heroin addicts except that we got high on stickers lol imagine (I’ll trade you my pony for some weed).  A lot of my stickers came from eating all that syrian gum. I swear no one supported the Syrian gum and chips industry like me and my sister did. Today I unwrapped all the stickers and stuck them to a board and if the ten year old Suha saw me she would have smacked me senseless.

I used to have Titanic everything, it was quite sad this obsession I had stickers, Lego, and a fake blue heart shaped diamond necklace, and Titanic sneakers that glow when you step on them. I used to do I am the king of the world bit on the top of my sofa.

I think it’s retarded when people make products out of a movie or a show. And what's more retarded are people who buy them like me> (I'm a sad sad soul)
Imagine some syrian dude thinking how am I gonna make more money into my business? Oh I know let's put Muhannad and Noor on the cover. It's a genious marketing plot that will only last me about a few months until a new turkish fag comes out..
What the hell kind of long-term business plan is that!!

You can't see it but it says on ^ the green explosion thing (al-juz2 al-thani) hahaha!!

Everyone is off to watch the Manchester game tonight. And I’m going, I could watch it at home but... I don’t know.

I tried walking outside the other day, walking around the block in Amman is so sucky, people somehow manage to stick a damn huge tree in the middle of a 2 shibir* sidewalk, making it almost impossible to “sidewalk” so you end up walking on the street and getting run over by cars.

Also have you noticed that people on YouTube are so damn angry, they should get some kind of anger management treatment or something, I once checked a video of a monkey and I swear I am not kidding about five people were arguing and cussing over EVOLUTION.. People have issues!

I dare you to watch a YouTube vid without some kind of fight in it, even if you YouTube search for a flower I bet you people will fight

BoredYouTuber 1: umm ok it’s just a flower what’s the big deal

Crazyass YouTuber 2: WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU HUH? DON’T YOU LIKE FLOWERS? YOU BASTARD

It’s a world full of mental patients I tell ya..

 *Note: Shibir is a legitimate measuring utensil/method of measurement, used mainly by Arabs; it is considered the length of a stretched palm.  

The Western world has got the feet and we got the palms haha I know I know zin5a…

So we went out to Blue Fig on Tuesday in case you didn’t know it’s a café/pub/restaurant, we sat and before we started ordering the waiter told us that there was a minimum charge of 8 JD’s tonight.
I for one was not willing to spend 8 JD’s for a freaking red bull, so we decided to leave because none of my friends wanted to be forced to order loads of stuff either.

What the hell is up with this minimum charge/cover charge thing? They do this everywhere and it’s so stupid, at first they started doing that on Thursdays but now on week days as well.

Why can’t they target the “ma3eesh a7lig” people aka MAJORITY of the population, instead of targeting the MINORITY of the upper middle-class people. No let’s just let the Uni students hang out at McDonald’s and that'll teach them a lesson for not throwing daddy’s money down the drain.

I understand if I was going clubbing or for sushi or something that is totally fine, but not when it comes to a gay coffee shop. Why can't I just pay for what I orderd plus tax and service it's fine, instead of being forced to pay 8 JD's for a drink that costs 2 JD's.

Seriously screw you BIDEESH atla3, I’d rather stay at home or feed my money to a donkey. Summer is coming and they will cover charge the shit out of our asses, so make a point and stand up against this bull shit rules. They might as well charge us for breathing. Walla I am not going out anymore and when I e7lif I mean it!!

Vegetarians are delusional; they think they can save the world one tofu meal at a time.

Type A veggie: I understand that some people become vegetarians because of the mistreatment of farm animals, but that will honestly make no difference, this is an issue vegetables can’t solve.

Type B veggie: I do hate it though when celebrities say “oh you want to save the planet, become a vegetarian” well hey dumbass aren’t you basically EATING the planet!!

Plus you are completely disturbing the food chain, if you want to save the animals, which are mainly farm animals ‘herbivores’ (plant eating) then eating away at their main source of nutrition isn’t the smart way.

I’d like to add that I spent three months watching the Discovery Channel and the Animal Planet, so far not once did I see a documentary about chicken or cattle. So there you have it, even freaking Animal Planet doesn’t concern itself with farm animals.

So don’t sit on your vegetable throne judging me, it’s not like I’m having Cheetah for breakfast.

If vegetarians want to distract themselves with something it should be against the Chinese people, they will seriously cook anything that breathes, heck they'd like it better raw...

Hey all my peepies sorry it’s been a while, and I know you missed me and if you say you didn’t you’re LYING!!  

I haven’t opened the internet in a while, I went to Yazan Al-Rousan concert thingy last night it was fun short but fun (o galla3na at the near end LOL no seriously he basically told us to get the hell out of there but in a nice way)...

Now to the main blog post *ta da daaaa/drum roll/curtain drop/gun fire/awesome*

I had a conversation with my friends the other day, where one mentioned some story involving a cousin of his and etc...

I couldn’t help but sort of remark on what he was saying< on how I always found it odd that the word cousin was a unisex term.  I mean you’ve got your brother, sister, uncle, auntie, grandpa, grandma, nephew and nieces. And yet you have a unisexual term for the cousin?